The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
– Maya Angelou –
Practicing mindfulness opens us up to a whole new way of being in the world. Not only are we learning to be more present and accepting of what is happening in our external lives, we are also building greater awareness and openness to the workings of our internal world.
As we disentangle from life on perpetual autopilot and dive deeper into our moment-to-moment lived experience, many of us quickly recognize that our internal world frequently does not feel like a very hospitable place. The euphoria of “homecoming” that we may initially experience is often sidelined as we traverse a largely unexplored inner landscape.
We begin to hear with greater clarity the internal voice that subjugates us with a steady stream of harsh and demoralizing criticism. Through a deeper connection to our bodies, we become more aware of the emotional and visceral wake of our lives. We have a greater understanding of the pull of craving, the push of aversion, and the fog of delusion.
It’s All in the Attitude
Thankfully, within this process of coming home to ourselves, we are also learning to attend to this inner landscape with an attitude of kindness and curiosity toward all of the passing phenomena. We begin to see that these internal disruptions are often just the result of established mental habits—ways of thinking and relating that have been woven into us through life experience. We notice that their comings and goings, although persistent, are also temporary.
An integral part of our practice then becomes about creating an inner dwelling that feels safe and welcoming to all the varieties of life—a place where we can truly inhabit all of our experiences. It is much like the tangible and intangible effort of creating a loving home. We start to slowly build an internal refuge for ourselves—sacred space where we can welcome it all, the parts we like and the parts we struggle to accept.
And as we stay committed to our mindfulness practice, we often find it becomes easier and easier to make our way home. We deeply understand that we have a place of safety right within ourselves that can provide warmth, comfort and shelter from the storms of life.
Making Room for Others
This effort we make to create a refuge is not just a self-centered pursuit, either. As we embrace and accept all the many nuances of ourselves and our lives, we have a greater capacity to embrace and accept them in others, as well. We begin to recognize that just as we seek safety, peace, happiness and well-being, so too, do our brothers and sisters. We also intrinsically know that the moments of discomfort we abide with are not just ours alone. They are the shared experience of being human.
A house does not become a home until someone decides to take up residence and make it a welcoming place. Mindfulness is an invitation to do just that—to fully inhabit and welcome all of ourselves home. With commitment, friendliness and self-compassion, we can create a safe and nourishing inner-sanctuary for all the varied moments of our lives. It is our warmth and loving care that is perhaps the most meaningful gift we can ever give ourselves.
Life is Found in Being, Not Becoming