There was a time in my life when my emotions were often at the mercy of my thought processes. The tendency of my mind was to focus on “problems” and what was wrong about the world around me. Accordingly, I not only suffered with needless stress but positive emotions were also fleeting.
Commitment to formal mindfulness practices (like sitting meditation) have been tremendously helpful in assisting me to recognize the separation that exists between what my mind thinks and how I choose to feel about it. But even with this insight, it is interesting to observe how negative the mind can be. For this reason, I believe it is important to learn how to cultivate positive emotions; especially for those who have a hard time keeping a positive mental outlook from one day to the next.
What is apparent to those working in the emerging discipline of positive psychology, is that the human mind is naturally conditioned to think more about what goes wrong in life and less about what goes right. At another time in our evolution, when our survival required a constant vigilance, this propensity served us well. Unfortunately, today this natural inclination sets many of us up for depression and anxiety, as we are constantly waiting for “the other shoe to drop.”
One strategy that research suggests bucks this trend is to intentionally spend time everyday thinking about and savoring things that went well. To that end, I am sharing a couple of exercises I’ve found recently that were developed by experts in the field. These practices have been purported to help rewire the brain to increase the frequency and duration of experiencing positive emotions.
The key to solidifying new habits (and neural pathways) is continued practice of the behavior we wish to cultivate. So, spending time with one of these exercises everyday for a committed period of days could offer a great benefit. If we find ourselves struggling to allow positive feelings in, this is definitely something to observe and inquire about.
What Went Well Exercise¹
Every night, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep to write down three things that went well that day and why each of them went well. The three things you identify as going well need only be important from your perspective. They can be little or big matters. The physical act of writing this exercise out is important, so make sure you create a written record.
Savor the Positive Exercise²
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- Set a goal each day to actively look for good things in your world and inside yourself. (You can also do things deliberately to create a positive experience – like be helpful to someone else or do something nice for yourself).
- Release any resistance to feeling good about yourself.
- Open up to experiencing the emotional and bodily sensations associated with your responses to positive events.
- Extend the positive experience in time and space.
- Keep your attention on it so it lingers; don’t just jump onto something else.
- Allow your body to fill up with positive sensations and emotions.
- Notice any discomfort to staying with feeling good.
- Sense that the positive experience is soaking into your brain and body – registering deeply in emotional memory.
- Perhaps imagine that it’s sinking into your chest, back and brainstem.
- Maybe imagine a treasure chest in your heart.
- Take the time to do this for 5 or 10 or 20 seconds.
- Keep relaxing your body and absorbing the positive experience.
- Set a goal each day to actively look for good things in your world and inside yourself. (You can also do things deliberately to create a positive experience – like be helpful to someone else or do something nice for yourself).
Our experience of life is informed to a great extent by our perceptions. Developing the ability to see and experience the positive moments that occur within our daily lives can only be to the enhancement of our well-being. This is especially true when our resiliency is challenged by change and uncertainty.
Life, no doubt, serves up its trials and tribulations from time to time, but this is by no means a constant. Even in the hardest of times, the good is always present; we need only look for it. By cultivating our ability to see and experience the positive, we are not only bringing a balanced approach to living, but also developing a wisdom that recognizes the beauty present in every moment.
¹ Adapted from Flourish by Martin E. P. Seligman
² Adapted from 7 Facts About the Brain That Incline the Mind to Joy, an article by Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence