The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe.
– Albert Einstein
Are there areas of your life in which you never seem able to manifest a positive outcome? Do you see the same situation playing itself out over and over again with different players? Do you sometimes feel as if Life is conspiring against you?
If the answer to these questions is yes, you may very well be engaging in a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.
A self-fulfilling prophecy is an individual’s prediction of an outcome that becomes true due to positive feedback between that individual’s belief and behavior. Self-fulfilling prophecies can be focused on positive or negative outcomes. In either case, the perceiver is the primary driver of the outcome of their prophecy.
One form of self-fulfilling prophecy is racial stereotyping. An individual draws conclusions about the characteristics of a racial group and then seeks to find examples of those attributes in their interactions with that group of people, thus reinforcing their personal beliefs.
Individuals operating with a negative self-fulfilling prophecy will make leaps of logic based on fear rather than objective information. Typically, they fail to investigate the basis of their fears or look to gain a comprehensive understanding of circumstances. These individual will seek out the details of a situation that validate what they are afraid of, rather than their hope.
Recently, I’ve been reading, The As If Principle, by Richard Wiseman. In his book, Wiseman points out that much of the self-help psychology available today suggest that we have to change our minds before we can change our behavior. He posits that this approach is not consistent with contemporary findings in the field of psychology.
Wiseman presents a host of research to support his assertion that contrary to popular belief, we should endeavor to change our behavior in an effort to change our thinking. Specifically, he suggests that in order to elicit a desired behavior, we need to “act as if” we are already successfully operating in the mode in which we seek to act.
A simple example of this would be smiling to elicit a more positive emotional state.
Wiseman’s conclusion that behavior elicits thinking could, to some extent, explain the phenomenon of a self-fulfilling prophecy, as this is an example of an individual’s behavior reinforcing a mental perception.
Once we come to terms with the fact that we can only change our own behavior in any situation, how might Wiseman’s conclusions help us change a negative self-fulfilling prophecy?
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If we fear our own incompetency, act as if we are confident in our ability to meet the demands of a situation.
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If we fear others are working against us, act as if they support a positive outcome for us, as well as for them.
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If we fear that life is conspiring against us, act as if Life supports our success.
Negative self-fulfilling prophecies manifest themselves from fear and create a limited spectrum of perceptions. To expand the potential for new and positive outcomes, we must be willing to open ourselves to new perceptions.
When we walk through life communicating through our behavior that we are open and receptive to possibilities beyond our own preconceived framework, we are more likely to receive supportive responses from others.
This does not mean to suggest that we won’t run into challenges. Indeed we might. But if we attend to and communicate our feelings, and allow others the space to do likewise, we are more likely to step out of negative outcomes that would have formerly been predestined by a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We cannot keep bad things from happening in our lives. However, we can increase the likelihood of a positive outcome by moving away from our own self-defeating behavior.
Breaking away from conditioned responses can be uncomfortable, but it is entirely possible to change outcomes by changing rote behavior. As we behave in manners consistent with the positive outcomes we wish to produce, their initial awkwardness dissipates and becomes established patterns of acting.
As Wiseman suggests, there is credible research to predict that if you ‘fake it till you make it,’ you might just reach a more fulfilling destination.